August 7, 2015

Finding Light in the Darkness

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These past two weeks have been one of the hardest I’ve had in a really long time. They say that “bad things comes in threes“, but what I wasn’t prepared for was not having the chance to absorb and process it, and instead it was one bad thing after another.

I really don’t know where to begin? I should probably start with the first set of news I received last week…

Wednesday was my Friday, I was at work trying to finish up some projects before I left for our annual trip to Lake George — it’s close to impossible to focus on anything when you know you’re leaving for vacation the next day. But on that Wednesday afternoon, when I received a message that our very good friend was involved in an accident and is in critical condition, all I could focus on was my breathing.  My first instincts were to rush to the hospital, and before I realized it, I left work early and started driving to New Jersey.

Long after the sun set, I found myself anxiously waiting in the lobby of Hackensack Hospital. My best friend, and fiance to the victim, was not answering her phone — which made me even more anxious. I needed to see her, hug her, support her in the most darkest moment in her life. More importantly, I needed to know if He would be OK. After reuniting with my best friend, learning about the accident, and seeing our friend alive and fighting, I was able to breathe again.

It’s been 10 days since the accident. There are a lot of highs and lows, which is expected in an accident that our friend was involved in, but he’s fighting for his life. The guy is a beast! And I have faith that he will make it. This could have been avoided if the person who’d hit him was not texting and driving. Those commercials you see on TV is not a joke. “It can wait”. Our friend, who is a DOT worker, was hit on the highway by a car going 80 mph. How did he survived? It truly is a miracle — Angels were watching him.

Aside from our friend fighting for his life. I learned this week that my grandmother’s health is slowly deteriorating. I knew my grandma wasn’t in the best of shape, but to hear of her pain and suffering, I can’t help but cry for her. She’s not even an ‘old’ lady, shes only in her early 70s! Our family will be taking a trip to Florida next week to visit grandma which will be bittersweet.

And for the icing on the cake… In the midst of ‘life’, my beautiful fat cat Abbey, passed away on Monday. After 14 years of her vicious game of ‘Whose leg can I swipe today’, to adorable purrs and cuddles in the evening, and interrupting me while I work on the computer… she’s gone. I truly believe that loosing a pet is like loosing a family member. A piece of you is forever gone. Our family decided to have her remains cremated — we plan on taking a hike to a beautiful location to set her free. I wasn’t home when she passed away, so I need this… I haven’t even began to heal until I say my final last words to her.

It’s a bit overwhelming. I like to consider myself a strong minded individual, I keep myself in check, stay positive, and always move forward. But last week, I couldn’t. I was weak and I was hard on myself for being weak… I held it all in and tried to bare it all on my own, but it only came back ten fold. What I’d failed to see was that although I may be the rock for others, I have others who are my rock. And that’s ok! It doesn’t mean I am weak, instead I draw strength from these people, they are the ones that help me see the light in the darkest times, they provide me words of encouragement and push me forward. In everyday life, I think we forget we have this, so when ‘life’ happens, we feel alone. But you’re not. I’m not…

Summer wedding bouquet

I am truly grateful for the people God placed in my life. Thanks to my wonderful friends, one of them sent a passage that I needed to hear.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

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